They say time heals everything..but I'm still waiting

Today is always a little rough for me. it's been 13 years and I still get really down :( It seems to never really get any easier. Sure time has numbed a lot of the pain, but I still feel the anger and the grief and the what if's... I don't normally open up about my feelings and especially not for anyone to read about. But I've been trying to make a lot of changes in my life and maybe opening up is part of what I need. When I think about my Dad I think Strong, funny and full of life, I also think weakness, disappointment and death. I was always Daddy's little girl! And I'm mad at him for not being here for me. I wish that he were here to watch my children grow and be a part of their lives. I wish that we could make more memories, but I just have to hold on the memories that I have. Dad was always so fun and I loved spending time with him. I alway wonder what he would be like today, if he would have changed art all....my guess is no :)
Thank you for letting me share. I love you Daddy and I miss you every day!

More quotes from Brooks himself:

As he takes the candy out of his mouth so it's covered in saliva; "It's good!! Wanna taste a bite?"

Just before heading out the door " Mommy...You don't have make-up on!"

"I'm empty!" While trying to get him to pee before bed

When his grandmother was putting him in the bath "Mommy's privates are different than mine"

In the car on the way home it was dark and I looked back at him and he had something all over his face and his was rubbing it everywhere it looked like it could be chocolate or something when I asked him what it was he said "Boogers" Haha he had a bloody nose and was smearing it all over his face!! Sick but I couldn't help but laugh

At Peterson's grocery store he asked if he could get some banana's, we were looking in the produce section and couldn't find them I asked him " Where do you thin they are?" He told me "Oh I think they're at Walmart! We shoud've gone there!"

"Mommy she wears High heels like you!"

After being told he can not have bend-a-roos cuz they're for bigger kids "Here hold this....see I'm big! I slept for a long time and got big so now I can have bendaroos!"

Hurry up dude! "I am but I'm a slow poke!"

I had a friend over and told him that he needed to be on his best behavior until he left! " I can't wait for your friend to leave!"

I had asked him what he wanted to be for Halloween, he said he wanted to be a ghost...OK But wouldn't you rather be something cooler like a monster or vampire or dinosaur? "Yeah or a Lady Bug!"

"I had a big tiger in my dream and it was freakin me out! "
"It freaked all the bad words outta me!"

What makes you happy? "When someone doesn't take a toy out of my hand!"

When I picked him up for pre-school one day he was looking extra dapper and I told him you sure look handsome, he says " That's my job"

"That slurpee freezes my head!"

He wanted to wear his boots without socks and I told him that it would make his feet stink and he says to me" And the we'll go to grandma's and when I take my boots off they'll say..what the heck is that? and I'll say.. that's my toes"

What do you know about ghosts? "They're smooth and they don't walk on the ground and they have mean naughty eyes!"

After seeing an almost due pregnant friend of mine "She had a baby in her belly and it's gonna fall out at any time!"

"It's not just chocolate, it's bliss"

And of coarse more to come :) Hope you enjoyed them!

School Days Already!

I know I know it's been FOREVER since I've updated my blog :( Brooks started Pre-School! It's crazy how fast time flies I can't believe it! He is so good and loves to do his homework! The other night he was crying because he was done with his homework and wanted to do more haha! I told him you just remember this when you're older! :) He loves his teacher and she is so great with all the kids! He is always so happy to go, which is great because I was afraid he wouldn't be OK with me leaving him in a house full of strangers. He always says that he has no friends and he doesn't talk to anyone or know any of their names so I was nervous that he might be a little anti-social (which is odd because when we go to the park he's very friendly) but I learned that's not true today as he said goodbye to several friends using their names ;) It's tough to get anything out of him! I always ask him what he did in school today and he always just says "Nothing" But after going through his backpack and seeing what he's brought home then he opens up about it! It's weird to me that he's old enough to learn how to write! He has already leared how the write Upper and Lower case A's & B's and had two days of show and tell. He chooses the most random things to take for show & tell I just hope that the other kids aren't bringing in some real extravagent things or I'll feel bad. I took a few pics of him in his newe school clothes and thought I'd share how grown up he looks in them! :) Enjoy

Meatball Soup

We went to our friend Ashley's for a play date in Daybreak. We went to the lake and they dug a big hole and pretended they were making meatball soup for dinner :) They had lots of fun making mud balls and throwing them at each other! By the end of the day they were covered in sand! But they loved every minute of it

The Farm

For the weekend we took a little trip to the Dunn Family Farm. When I was younger my aunt and uncle would take my brother and I up here and we would have the time of our lives! There's always something fun to do! It's not so much a farm now a days, the chicken coup, rabbit hutch and the granary have all been converted into little cabins

The 1st thing the kids wanted to do when we got there was jump on the tramp! That was their favorite thing all weekend they would jump and wrestle and laugh pretty much all day :)It was pretty cold the 1st day it rained all morning. But it was still beautiful, we tried skipping or should I say throwing rocks in the lake :) and just had a nice relaxing day! We took Buckley (Brooks dog) with us to play with Putt Putt (My Aunt's dog) They had a blast

running around and playing together! And Buckley took his 1st swim.Brooks and Rowan danced their little hearts out to Poker Face and Kellie Pickler :)Thenext day we wanted to get in the pool but after testing it out with a few toes, decided it was much to cold for swimming! Elliott was nice enough to read Brooks a book before his nap. He is quite the reader!

We decided to go down to the dock in the backyard and go for a canoe ride :) Even Buckley came along! It was a nice warm day and made for a perfect ride!We tried the pool again but it was still way too frigid for me! So we had some snacks and then of coarse more jumping on the trampoline!When the sun went down we roasted hot dogs and made some s'mores

We had lots of fun on our much needed vacation! Thanks for inviting us Aunt DeAnn and Uncle Ben! We love you!

THE END